It is possible for us to forget someone we once saw to be so loving, so full of life and spirit can be taken out of our lives without a second thought. I suppose you could say life works in strange ways.
My brother was more than blood he was my idol, a boy I could look up too when i was lost myself. Instead of seeing the boy who lost his way I see the boy he used to be, I see someone who was strong, someone who had his dreams and his goals in front of him just not enough time to fulfil them all.
He taught me the little things in life, the things only a brother could and i thank him for that. I thank him for the numerous days he would spend with me when he was home from school over the summer, or the days he would spend teaching me to ride my bike, catch the footy or hit a softball. I thank him for the times he stood up for me when no one else would, even id he knew i was in the wrong he would always be there to catch me when i fell.
We shared a bond that i thought nothing could break. Of course we fought like any other siblings, there were times when we would fight for months on end and i wouldn't hear a word from him. i use to worry that we would never be close again but i could never stay mad at him, at the end of the day there was nothing i wouldn't do for my brother.
It's the little things in life we take for granted that we end up missing the most.
The past cannot be changed and we are to remember the good times instead of the bad. Life is too short and with this I am to forgive Neil. The death of Neil was sudden and tragic, but not something we are to dwell upon.
There is so much I wish I could have said to him, most of all I wish i could tell him I'm sorry. I'm sorry that when you needed me most I couldn't be there and that i couldn't read the signs you were struggling.
I wish I could take back the fighting and the hatred. I wish that one day you'd come back to us again so I could change that all.
I wish that you saw every tear we shed for you,
I wish that we knew this is what you wanted.
But what I wish for most is for you to understand I will always love you, I'm sorry i never got to tell you that.
Neil was an incredible actor, an A+ student, beloved son and a friend to so many.
He was also my brother.
I will continue to follow in your footsteps, and although I have big shoes to fill i will try my hardest, for you..
Lost but never forgotten may you rest in peace.
I will remember the good, forgive the bad and maybe one day we will meet again. I love you Neil
goodbye.
