Sometimes I realise how much I truly miss people. I am so self concerned that I tend to have trouble leaving the depths of my thoughts and welcoming blankets. These are the days when I feel safe and sometimes breaking out of that safety barrier is harder then it should be. I miss a lot of things about a lot of people and yet I seem to miss myself more this leaves me with the question how can you miss something that is always there?
I don’t think I can say im fully here anymore, parts of me have changed and disappeared and I am now left with constant thoughts and worries about the upcoming future. I wonder where I will be in years time and if I will ever learn to live for now instead of living for the future what scares me is that ive come to depend on certain people so much more then I have ever depended on myself, people remind me that nothing lasts forever so what happens when the one person I come to depend on most leaves? I wonder what will happen with the rest of me. Will I follow the trend that I once took or will I chase after the one person who can give me that undying sensation again.People continue to say I have stopped trying which scares me most as I feel im trying harder then ever before
it feels like sometimes I try and I try but I never get there, and failer seems so much easier then the other options, I will agree things don’t seem right anymore.
